Many of us who believe we are open minded and are swayed only by the truth are liars. We lie to ourselves because we wan’t to believe that we are thinking through situations and using reason to come to our particular stance even when so much of our positions come from built in bias and motivated by allegiance to our tribes.

Having read my share of “unbiased” books on the history of Palestine, I like to think of myself as impartial. That my opinions stem from facts.

As a Jew, I realize the impossibility of being unbiased. After all, the headline on Israel is that after so many horrors perpetrated against the Jews leading up to the ultimate persecution, The Holocaust, Israel was established as a safe place for Jews to live. Old Testament God must have had a good laugh at that given the endless stream of bombings, wars, suicide attacks that have tormented the region since Israel’s birth in 1948.

And because a safe haven for my people is paramount, I find myself siding with Israel even when it is doing horrible things in the name of security: Settlers marauding through occupied territories pogrom style; dropping bombs on and freezing babies in Gaza; mass detentions and defying the judgment of much of the world.

And yet, I do, in the name of security. And yet, because the Israelis have ratcheted up the death machine, the prospect of the country being free of terror is more and more fleeting.

How would you avenge the death of your forefathers, ask the thousands of newly created orphans/avengers in Gaza?

All of this to say, it’s confusing being a Jew especially one who seeks clarity and who seems to fail every day.